Thursday, July 3, 2014
Goodbye, I'm Going Home
I love sad music. It's so much more genuine to say "I'm miserable" than to be cheerful and happy. Because people fake happiness all the time and you never know when somebody is being honest. Nobody pretends to be unhappy and sad.
I feel like my misery drives me more than happiness does. I don't look around and go "I'm pretty happy, let's keep working to get life better and better." No, I look around and say "This fucking sucks, let's try and make my life the opposite of this."
I think people mistake my unhappiness for like a terminal unhappiness. I'm cheerful at times, but I'm also unhappy at times. The last couple years, the bad has definitely outweighed the good, but the reason I keep plugging along is because I know that won't always be the case. Like I said in a recent podcast, the appropriately titled "Worst Summer Ever," that one day when I look back at my successful life and write my autobiography, this will be the part where I go "It fucking sucked and I was really unhappy, but then it got better."
I'm in the valley, just gotta work my way up to the top of the mountain.