Thursday, May 1, 2014
Small-town angst. This is a song about Aberdeen, Kentucky. I'm slowly drowning in Princeton, WV.
I honestly didn't think this area was so bad. I heard about "more opportunities elsewhere" but I thought a lot of the talk was just hyperbole. I knew bigger areas had more jobs and things, but I didn't think it was such a huge disparity.
Then I went to California for Thanksgiving last year. I saw what an actual place that is appealing to human life looked like.
I am going to die if I stay in Princeton, West Virginia. Maybe not physically, but mentally, spiritually, emotionally. There are no opportunities for advancement here. There's nothing but pills and skanks here. And I have associated with my fair share of both.
I can't handle this pressure anymore. Every day just gets worse than the last. I don't have good days anymore; I just have days. Sometimes they're not horrible, but at the best a day is "just there."
I am slowly drowning. My ambitions. My hopes. My potential. My future. It's all drowning in a pool of excessive alcohol intake and drug abuse. I've cleaned up my life, but it almost feels like a case of too little, too late.
I don't know. I just hate every day that I'm here. "Then move." I'm trying. Things cost money. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm aimless. Listless.
Anyway... I like that song. All the rest just started coming out when I listened to it.