It's 7-something AM. I'm sitting at McDonalds drinking an iced caramel mocha and trying to drown out the old men around me talking loudly. I usually drink a fruit smoothie when I'm here, but I decided to switch it up.
I work at 8 a.m. at Pizza Hut. Why does somebody have to be there that early? I've never really figured it out even after all these years. In the past, I used to bypass that 8 a.m. start time and stroll in at 9:30-ish or so. After all, if you're the first one there it doesn't really count as being late. As I've gotten older and wiser, I've learned that I've been sleeping through that extra 90 minutes I could be sitting around getting paid for. I'll still feel like shit whether I get that hour & a half of sleep or not, so why even bother with it.
Speaking of sleep... what is that again? My Saturday and Sunday schedule the last couple months now or so has been to work until 1 or 2 a.m. Saturday night, then work again Sunday morning at 8 a.m. The easiest thing for me to do is just stay up. And, so that's what I'm doing. I feel like a living zombie, but you can run a Pizza Hut like that. Nobody can tell the difference.
The easy solution to this work thing is to switch my Friday and Saturday. I have Friday off. The other closing manager has Saturday off. If we just switched the two days then I wouldn't have to do the no-sleep thing. But, Friday is the busiest day of the week and Saturday is sometimes busy. I hate working hard for the sake of pizza so much that I'd rather not sleep Saturday night than as opposed to be busy on Friday night.
I think I wouldn't hate it so much if I couldn't map out my entire day beforehand. When getting ready for work I put on my black dickies and sit in my chair and stare at my Shoes for Crews nonslip restaurant-approved footwear. I imagine my day. I'll get there and do X, then Y, then Z. Then I'll drive home. Then I'll get up the next day and do it all over again. And that's probably what I hate the most about it. There is no spontaneity or interest in my work life. People like to say "If you love what you're doing, then it's not work." I'm definitely working every single day. The only thing I love is laying in bed and pretending like the life I live isn't the life I live.
I don't understand how people can do this for their entire lives. You'll never see me doing this when I'm 40-years-old. I'll either have graduated from college and having a career I love or I'll be dead. There's no inbetween for me. There is no way I could see myself continuing this kind of existence for any extended period of time. Nobody deserves to live this kind of minimum-wage existence.
I will say that it's definitely a character builder. The best lesson that I've gotten out of the last several years of my life is to be nicer to people. The two most common names I've been called over the years are "idiot" and "dumb ass." People seem to like to call me those when something is wrong with their pizza.
I often feel like Nicolas Cage in "The Weatherman," one of his more underrated roles. "Why do they throw things at you?" "I don't know. They don't like the forecast." I really associate with "Office Space" a lot. This quote sums up my life: "Every day is worse than the last. So every day you see me is the worst day of my life."
I guess I don't feel like that every day. Just when I'm mentally and physically exhausted from working too much and not sleeping well, eating well, drinking well, living well. It all adds up and I feel overwhelmed sometimes.
The plan is to graduate from college and change my life in the next year. But, Magnum TA was supposed to be NWA World Heavyweight Champion, so plans will definitely change. I don't want this plan to change. Nobody will take me seriously in life until I finish those 20 hours of meaningless classes. I can't be a journalist until I get those science credits I'm missing, so I need to get on that.
In summary: fuck my life. I'm going to go run a Pizza Hut. I'll check back in with some more thoughts later.