Tuesday, July 16, 2013 is notable for being my last day at RadioShack. I was talking with the boss about how much I was working at Pizza Hut and she asked, "Do you still want to work here?" She'd asked that a couple other times, but I'd always hem and haw around it, "Ehhhh, I guess. We'll see." Etc... But, today, I finally said, "Not really."
So, we ended things on good terms. I was told that if anything happens I can always come back down the line. And, she said that they like to hire extra people for a month or so during the Christmas season, so maybe we can work something out later.
I was just working too much at Pizza Hut to manage both jobs. Since coming back, the fewest hours in a 40-hour week I've worked is 37 and the most is 53. Physically, I can manage it, but mentally I wasn't fully there. Maybe I wasn't even holding up well physically. The last time I was at RadioShack it was 9 a.m. and I was talking about Pizza Hut and mentioned that I had worked the previous night until 1 a.m. which prompted my boss to ask, "So, is that why your eyes are so red right now?" I guess she just thought I was on drugs like most people do.
Again, I can't believe those paragraphs are my life. But, you know, the plan is to go back to school and graduate. I have classes. I just need financial aid money to make it manageable. That's all still in the process of being sorted out.
I've been thinking about the role that I want to play at Concord University in the fall. I've gotten this reputation over the years of being some sort of student journalist. I guess I'm trying to decide how active I want to be in things. I don't think I want to be some nameless student who just goes to class and does his homework. To me, Concord University isn't just a collection of buildings that houses classrooms. I couldn't do that even if I was forced to.
As is common with me - ideas have been swirling around in my head. Stagnation is not something that I like. I want to go further, higher, bigger, better. And that's probably why my day-to-day depression level is at a 26-year high, since I've stagnated as a college student and person for nearly a decade.
In everything I've done as a student journalist, the idea has been to grow it and make it bigger. I started out on The Concordian. Then I started incorporating my blog into it. Then I added Facebook into the blog and newspaper. Then I (cockily, I might add) thought my blog was bigger than The Concordian, so I broke away from the newspaper. And, honestly, in 2008 and 2009, you could probably argue that that point was true. I kind of used to be somebody.
Then I fell asleep for a few years and woke back up realizing how much of a loser I was (Insert Tommy Boy quote: "Yeah, what a loser...) and wanted to change that. What any industry needs to do is to serve its audience as adequately as possible. At a college level, The Concordian hasn't really been doing that. On a city level, I don't really think The Princeton Times has been doing that. And, for me, I haven't been doing that. And I would like for people to have a reason to read my blog. Just like there needs to be a reason to pick up The Concordian or The Princeton Times or what-have-you.
That's one reason I tried to create that magazine - to serve an underrepresented audience. That project is on hold for right now. It seemed dumb to try to raise money to print a magazine when I was having trouble paying my bills. So, I'm getting my life caught up and then we'll get back to that. I have a couple ideas in my head to get things off the ground with that. Publish date for issue 1 is tentatively spring 2014.
But, as a local small-time student journalist, I have ideas in my head to make that bigger. I'm just still deciding whether or not I want to be that guy anymore. I should have moved past being him years ago but life moved past me and I stood still.
And that's where we're at right now. I'll let you know how things work out with me and my new computer.