Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Looking at my life

I can sum up my life in two words right now:

God. Damn.

I guess it's not really that bad. On a related note, the "GD word" is my favorite profanity. It's the least-offensive swear word with "God" in front of it, so people are afraid to use it. I don't understand religion. Somebody please pray for me.

If I were writing the way my thoughts sounded in my head, you would read the following: "Well, I mean, I guess, ummmm... I don't know." I'm just having trouble sorting things out right now.

I'm still working my two jobs. Not sure for how long, though. It looks like Pizza Hut is becoming my top priority, job wise. You have no idea how much that last sentence hurt me. They asked me if I wanted to be a manager again. I need the money, so I said yes. I'm tired of hiding from my landlord and giving excuses as to why I don't have the rent money for her.

Regarding RadioShack, I'm just not any good at it. I barely understand any of the technological stuff people ask me about. Most people accept that I'm not that smart when it comes to that stuff so they give me a pass, but it's not fun pretending like I know what I'm doing.

I wrote previously about the hours issue. There looks to be a simple solution: the store by the Walmart is overstaffed and the store in the mall is understaffed. I went to work yesterday and a co-worker lamented that it was going to be the last time we work together, since I work at the mall now. That was news to me. The idea had been broached. The boss asked if I wanted to work at the mall. I told her to ask everybody else and get back to me. She never got back to me. Of course, it's hard to get back to me when I'm only there 6 hours a week.

So, we'll see what's going on there.

One of my first days back at Pizza Hut, a girl said something that was probably inspiring to some people, but just made me incredibly sad. She had worked as a server at a restaurant for several years and had left to work at Pizza Hut. She didn't like it and was leaving to go back to the restaurant. I told her how similar that was to my story - left and coming back to Pizza Hut. She said, "Yeah, sometimes you just have to go back home."

And then I died a little inside. Not really, but it sucked to hear that. On what may be a related note, Pizza Hut didn't have to give me a hat or nametag - I brought my own.

So, that looks like my agenda for the next few months: make pizzas and deal with customers. If you're new to the blog here or just need a refresher, click the link to read about one of my worst customer interactions ever. The police were called:

I don't think anything that bad will happen this time. One positive I can say about my life right now: it's not as bad as what I detailed in that blog linked above. I'm doing a little bit better; that's something, right?

I'm going to go live my life for a little bit and see where it takes me. I'll let you know how things are going. I feel like things are on a slight upswing. Hopefully it is.

Defy You

Song popped into my head recently. Nice message. The Offspring has kind of gotten the reputation of writing really cheesy lyrics, since their most popular track is that "pretty fly for a white guy" song, but a lot of their stuff is really intense. Explore their music if you haven't.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Paying my dues

I don't even know where to start. It seems like there's this unwritten rule that I'm not allowed to have nice things. Where's the best place to start? The beginning:

I got fired from my job at Outback. It took a couple weeks but I started working at RadioShack. It's a nice job. I stand around and pretend like I know a lot about electronics. I went about a month without an income, so things were starting to get stretched tight. I'm relatively smart with money. I knew I would just need a solid month of working and I'd get things back on track.

That first month wasn't as solid, so I figured two semi-solid months would get me back on track. Then, the hours started getting cut back. Out of a possible 40-hour work week, I received 10 hours. I didn't cause a scene about it. I know sometimes these things happen. I decided to give it some time. The next week, I received 10 hours again. Not a fan, but I figured we'd see where things go. Week after that, 6 hours. What can you even do with a paycheck like that?

So, I started looking for a new job. I talked to some friends of mine. A guy I know told me to come to Hardees and work with him there. I went in and had a humiliating interview where I was told about all the things I'd have to change about myself just so I could make hamburgers. Then I talked to another friend who told me something that I considered but didn't want to acknowledge- "Come back to Pizza Hut."

And, so I did. I like it in the sense that I already know how to do everything. But, I hate it in the sense that I hate it.

I've only worked one day there so far. I probably wouldn't have hated it so much if I hadn't had to walk a mile-plus there. My car broke down. I drove it to Beckley the other day and I noticed it acting weird. Smoke was coming out of the hood and I was worried. I pulled into a parking lot and looked for somebody who looked like he knew cars. I found a guy and he pointed me to a hose that had a tear in it. The smoke I saw was antifreeze spewing out of it. He gave me instructions on how to get home and sent me off. The 30-minute drive took nearly 2 hours, as I had to constantly pull over and let the engine cool down.

I called my mom's boyfriend, Tim, who knows about cars. He said he could fix it for me, but he was out of town with my mom for a few more days. I went to a garage. They gave me an estimate of $150. Stretching things thin, but I needed it done and if that would fix it, it seemed like a good idea. While fixing my hose, the guy called me over and showed me a belt on my car. It was frayed and the frayed part was what smacked into the hose, causing it to be cut. He said I needed the belt replaced and it would probably cost another $160. I didn't have that with me, so I said I'd get it fixed later.

Driving from Mercer Street to my apartment, a couple minute drive, I had to pull over as my car started to overheat. So, I paid $150 to get something fixed that didn't actually fix the problem. I made it home and parked my car for a few days until my mom and her boyfriend got home. In the meantime, I had to walk to Pizza Hut. On a positive note, my tan is looking pretty good.

Tim got back and fixed the belt. It cost $24. He said the hose probably would have been in the $30-$40 range if he had fixed it. So... FUCK.

So, that's where life is at right now. RadioShack doesn't know that I work at Pizza Hut yet. So, I need to figure out what I'm doing there. If I'm quitting RadioShack or trying to manage two jobs. Honestly, I can manage Pizza Hut plus 6 hours at RadioShack, but would it be worth it?

I sent out a tweet the other day expressing my frustration: "If you hear anything on the news later about a guy plummeting to his death from a bridge, it's probably gonna be me. Just a heads up."

It's been a rough week. I keep telling myself that other people have it worse than me. At least I have a job. And, technically, I have two. As much as things suck, it could always be worse. Yes, I spent over $100 more fixing my car than I had to, but at least I have a car that works now.

Every time something difficult comes up to me in life, I tell myself that it builds character. It's all about paying your dues. Good things will happen to me at some point in life, and when they do I'll appreciate them more.

Until then? Well, the struggle continues.