I attended the 2013 Tau Kappa Epsilon formal event as the date of Ashley Green, a TKE sweetheart. I only knew a handful of people that were going to be there, so I considered that it could be potentially be awkward, so I tried to think of a way to make things interesting for me. I decided to keep a running log of the night on my phone.
It's what I do; I like to document things. I thought it would be a fun idea. I think it provides an interesting look into an outsider experiencing one of the biggest nights of the year for a fraternity.
All in all, it was a fun night. I think Ashley thought I wasn't enjoying myself because I was kind of sitting there not doing much for the most part, but it doesn't take a lot of stimulation to excite me; I'm content to sit there listening to music, drinking my drink, and people watching. She likes a lot of stimulation (no jokes, please), so she went and had some fun while I hung out and watched her wallet.
Below is the log. It starts on Saturday, May 11 and goes into the early morning hours of Sunday May 12, before one final entry after waking up Sunday afternoon.
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Laying in bed shirtless listening to the foo fighters station on Pandora. I should probably be getting ready for the TKE formal. I'm a little apprehensive about it, but I'm like that with any unfamiliar event. Ashley is really looking forward to it and wants me to come along, so I think it could be fun.
The awkwardness could possibly stem from the fact that she's probably one of the few girls going who is bringing a male date. So I'm likely going to be the only guy who doesn't really fit in. But, I know enough of them that it shouldn't be an issue. I'll just have to find a spot to go sit down at if they start breaking out chants.
I'm going to go get ready. I'll try to maintain this throughout the night. It could be entertaining.
Sent Ashley a picture of me in my suit w/ the caption "Do I look presentable?" She thought I did. I'm kind of surprised she left me to my own devices in terms of getting ready. I figured she would micro-manage me getting dressed more. She tends to think I dress like a slob for the most part.
I'm wearing Toms with my suit. I feel like I should wear comfortable shoes. The girls wear uncomfortable shoes, but as soon as they start getting drunk they take them off. I can't go barefoot, so I decided on comfort over style.
I told Ashley to make sure the girls start taking off their shoes before I get too drunk, or I would make fun of them. I've been given strict orders not to say, "Don't take any of those girls home tonight - their feet are dirty!" or anything along those lines.
Outside Ashley's apartment picking her up. It has started to rain.
Finishing up at Kimono, the Japanese restaurant. It was a little awkward at first, because Ashley & I arrived after everybody. But once I started eating a little bit I relaxed. The hibachi guy threw food at my mouth but I didn't catch it. The server combined mine & Ashley's bill. She always hates when they do that. I think it's funny how she reacts to it. Watching a guy steal a glass. I asked his name. Ashley wouldn't tell me.
Ashley doesn't like the idea of this blog. I told her people would think it's interesting. I also promised not to document any out-of-control debauchery.
Arrived at Winterplace for the formal. On the shuttle ride here, there weren't enough seats and I had to stand. I kept accidentally bumping my crotch into some girl sitting in front of me. She didn't seem to notice. Time to start drinking.
So far, I've spotted 4 girls that aren't wearing any shoes. Ashley still has hers on. There's a girl here who looks to be under 5 feet tall. Extremely short girls are cute. Still on drink 1.
Went to the bathroom. Heard a knock on the door. Opened the door and a girl asked if there were any other guys in there. I said no. She came in. I left. Just finished drink 2.
This DJ is annoying. I wish I had some hand sanitizer. No real reason, I'm just weird about germs. Already lost count of how many times I've witnessed something & said to Ashley, "I'm not putting that in the blog." Working on drink 3.
Some guy came up to me, real respectful and all, and asked what my numbers were or something. When I told him I was Ashley's date, he said "Oh," and walked away. Still on drink 3.
Made fun of some girls for acting like whores. They were Ashley's friends. Oops. Lost track of what drink I'm on, but I know I'm not drunk enough.
They're giving out awards. Basically, they're inside joke awards about fucking girls or whatever and I don't get any of the jokes, so I'm just kind of hanging out waiting for them to be done.
A couple fraternities have given me bids over the years. One of my biggest reasons against joining was the fakeness. The guy I spoke to earlier tonight has stuck with me. He thought I was TKE alumni, so he came up to me and was all respectful, then as soon as he realized I wasn't TKE, he walked away. He's walked past me a couple times tonight & has avoided eye contact. He was being so fake and it's ridiculous. It's the only thing I have against Greek organizations.
Guy asked me to smoke pot with him. I said yes. He asked, "You're not gonna write about this in a blog are you?" I said, "Oh no, of course not." Ashley gave me a look. It was funny.
I'm home now. Ashley drove me home. I felt like I was good, but she didn't. So, that probably means I wasn't good. Interacted with an older TKE member who I felt went out of his way to make fun of me. But, that'll happen.
Decent night, overall. I'm okay that I went. I feel like I would have enjoyed myself more if I had known more people. And I feel like more people would have approached Ashley, had she not been with me. Aside from a couple assholes I dealt with throughout the night, it was an enjoyable evening.
Approximately 12 hours have passed since I laid in bed with my head spinning writing that last post. Still trying to piece things together. I couldn't tell you the last time I smoked marijuana. Indulging in it last night definitely helped up my enjoyment level. It may have also created some memory problems.
As we were leaving last night, some guys were making a few sophomoric jokes about how Ashley & I were going to "have fun later." I don't really remember much after getting home and one of the first things I do remember is Ashley waking me up on my couch at 8:30 am asking why I left her alone in my bed. So, that's how much "fun" we wound up having, for anybody curious. I vaguely remember tossing & turning and she fell asleep, so I got up so I wouldn't bother her.
When I got in my car earlier, the Red Hot Chili Peppers song "One Hot Minute" was blaring loudly. I kind of remember that song coming on and turning it up and telling Ashley about how it was my favorite RHCP song.
We gave two people a ride to the Chaucer apartments. I kept over-pronouncing it and saying "shosh-er." The people crammed in my backseat thought it was funny.
I feel bad that my drunkness got in the way of my chivalry. As I got out of my car and watched this girl struggle to get out of the backseat of my two-door car, I realized that I should have let her sit in the front. If I had a little more sense at the time I would have offered.
Struggling to remember how much I tipped the bartender. I'm sure it wasn't enough. At one point I went up for a drink and the lady remembered what I had. I made some lame joke to the effect of: "I'm becoming a regular around here." She laughed.
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And, there's that. As I said, I like to document things. It felt like something fun to do.