Sunday, May 16, 2010

A couple marriage and religious thoughts...

Pat Keys got married recently. Pat was my roommate in Concord's dorms for the 2007-2008 & 2008-2009 academic years. For the better part of two years, we lived in the same room. Luckily for us, we wound up liking each other. Otherwise, that would have been an awkward two years.

Living with somebody for so long, you get to know them a little bit. I got to know a lot about Pat and vice versa. You also get to know their friends... and girlfriends. Pat had a handful of girlfriends over the two years we lived together. I knew them, I enjoyed their company, they seemed pretty cool.

I moved off-campus for the beginning of the 2009-2010 academic year, thus ending our stint as roommmates. As a result, we didn't see each other as much. We'd usually run into each other in the Student Center and hang out for a few minutes. As a result of this, I didn't get a chance to get to know his latest girlfriend, Brittany. He started dating her sometime around late August/early September.

One way I kept up with Pat was through Kelly. She & Pat wound up both working at Walmart and she'd usually fill me in on the latest in Pat's life. About a month ago, Kelly comes home and informs me that she has some big news - "Britt's pregnant!"

Kelly and I both talk to Pat. They're living together in an apartment. Her parents aren't happy. His parents aren't happy. They're talking about marriage.

About a week ago, I get a text from Pat telling me when their wedding is and if I can make it. I check my schedule and find out that Kelly and I can both make it. We get there and see how quickly it was put together. It's at Britt's parents house. Kelly and myself are the only people there who aren't Britt's family members.

Pat is just kind of there. I'm not saying that he didn't want to get married. I'm not saying that he doesn't love Britt. I'm just saying that talking to Pat, I can tell that getting married was not something he had planned on doing for a long time.

The whole thing was so quickly put together that Pat didn't have a best man. When Britt's mom asked Pat who was holding the ring for him, he realized he had nobody to do it and asked me if I wanted to. A picture of the ceremony is below. Pat's in the middle, in the white shirt. I'm off to the right.

It was a quick ceremony. I'd say the whole thing clocked in at about 15-20 minutes or so. No reception beforehand, some refreshments served afterwards. Kelly and I couldn't stay for the refreshments, so I'm not sure how long the entire affair lasted.

I don't have the inside scoop here, but I'm going to offer my theory on why this marriage occured so quickly after the pregnancy was announced. I am guessing that Pat's or Britt's parents are religious and this marriage was done in large part to appease their beliefs.

What's changed? Before, Pat and Britt were living together, with her being pregnant. Now, they're living together with her being pregnant... execpt they both wear rings on their left hands now.

To shift away from Pat & Britt and just talk about marriage in general ... One of the biggest problems with marriage is the focus on religion and not love. Of course, marriage is a religious ceremony, so that should play a large part in it. I've just always had a hard time wrapping my head around people who feel as though they have to get married, due to circumstances in their life.

If you get a girl pregnant, does marrying her change anything? Well, now you won't go to Hell for living in Sin. Although, you'll probably go to Hell for something else. Well, except for that whole deal about Hell not existing...

Like most religious subjects, I just have a hard time understanding how people put so much stock into something that has a huge chance of turning out to not be real. They have to get married because God said you can't live together. You have to get married because a religious relative crams the idea down your throat. It's just not something I'm a fan of.

I blogged about issues with same-sex marriage back in December. Instead of re-hashing that issue here in my blog, I'll just post the link and let you check it out. Here it is - I initially wrote it after the Washington DC council voted to allow same-sex marriages. 

As with most posts about religion, I'll leave this post on a confused note. I just don't get it. I don't understand religion and religious people. Leave your thoughts if you'd like...

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