Thursday, March 18, 2010

Life comes at you fast...

I've been living on my own for about 4 months or so. I figured I'd give an update on my "status" and whatnot.

As of right now, I have to say that moving out and getting my own apartment was the best decision of my life. I like being independent. I like making my own rules. I like being "free," in that sense.

Of course, I don't really make my own rules. Kelly does. Living with her has been an interesting experience, to say the least. It's been a positive experience, something I would never take away.

I guess I'll give a little background as to why I wanted to get my own place so badly.

My mom & I moved into an apartment in late 2003. I started college in 2004 & lived in the dorms. So, I was in & out of the apartment for several years. In the summer of 2008, she decided to move in with her boyfriend.

She moved in with her boyfriend, Tim. I moved back into the dorms. Fast-forward to summer 2009. I'm out of the dorms & staying there for the summer. I didn't mind it too bad, because it was just for the summer. I was essentially staying in a spare room and living out of my suitcases.

It turns out that after you attend Concord for what seems like forever, they don't want to give you as much money for financial aid. So, I weighed my options and realized that not living on campus would be the more economical route to take.

There was only one problem with that. I really didn't have anywhere to go. I was still in the spare room, living out of the suitcases.

The fall 2009 semester started and I went to class and came back to my spare room. I didn't like it. I don't want to use the word "depression," but it really affected me in a negative way.

Nothing against my mom, but at 23, I just felt like not living with her anymore. I like Tim, there was nothing wrong with him... it was just his kids that would stay with him on the weekends. Three kids, ages 6, 8, and 12, just aren't what you want to be around on your days off from school.

It was just a really negative environment for me and I didn't like it. I lived like that for about 5 months and I really, really, really started to hate it by the end. I began coping with it in ways that I'm not proud of, and that eventually became a wake up call to me to make some changes in my life.

Kelly was also wanting to get out on her own. She heard about an apartment and I made the call to set up an appointment to look at it. I instantly fell in love with this place and Kelly did once she saw it too. After a serious, hour-long discussion sitting in the Student Center at Concord, we decided to do it. I made the call and got the apartment.

At the same time, I received a small promotion at work. It's not much, but being a manager at Pizza Hut is a step up from being a cook at Pizza Hut. That was another thing bothering me in my life during that time period. Basically, I was tired of doing something menial. I was tired of having the same job as criminals and drug addicts. I stood next to several of those types making pizzas.

So, I had two big changes in my life around the same time. I was finally on my own and I had a job with a small amount of actual responsibility.

The winter break from school came and I spent that month doing a lot of reflecting and soul searching. I came to the conclusion that I hate school. I hate a lot of things about Concord University. But, I love a lot of things about Concord as well. It really has the potential to be a great school.

I realized that I had made these 2 drastic changes in my life. I realized that a college diploma isn't going to do anything for me until I decide to do something with it. I'm not ready to do anything with it, honestly. I decided that I was tired of school and didn't want to go back and not be interested in it. What's worse, taking a semester off or failing all your classes? I decided to take a semester off.

I've heard some criticism about why I continue to attend Student Government meetings at Concord, or why I read and critique Concord's student newspaper. I've heard rumblings that people say, "Well, he's not a student, why is he saying this stuff?"

I blogged about this a few months back - I am still a Concord student. Barring any unforseen circumstances, I 100% plan on attending classes in the fall. I just took a semester off to get my personal life in order.

I'm 23 years old, I got burnt out on school. It happens. Now I'm starting to get burnt out on work, so going back to school will be fun again. Well, maybe fun isn't the right word...

That's it for now. May have some additional thoughts later...

4 comments:

  1. In this world, a rare breed of individuals exist. These minute and sparsely scattered people, believe it or not, actually attend college knowing exactly what they want to do and how they want to do it. Plans go off without a hitch for them and they rather astonishingly float through the college experience. It is not to say that they didn't work hard, but the pieces seem to fit easier for them.

    Mirroring these select few, another anomaly aims at being the Joker to this Batman. They have an idea about life, but not so much the map it takes to travel. Semesters come and go and this archetype may not always find themselves amidst hallowed halls. To say they are any less learned, however, would be entirely false.

    I do not justify taking time off for anyone because I do not believe it needs to be justified. I do wish that I could go back and kick my high school guidance counselors in the pants for selling a dream of four years and nothing more to wide-eyed students. I mean, I've always had a rather cynical view on things but like many others, I bought into the idea.

    College is oftentimes a round hole designed for cylinders. Have the courage to be the square peg.

    I know you do.

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  2. Very, very nicely put. And, thank you for the compliment :)

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  3. I agree with the things you and John have said, and would go so far as to suggest that your continuing involvement with The Concordian and The SGA will be beneficial when it is time for you to return to classes. When I took my personal time off, the most difficult part of returning was not the classes or having to prioritize something as seemingly trivial as math homework. The most difficult aspect was feeling disconnected-- as though socially it had been twice as long as the amount of time I was actually absent.

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  4. That was one of my reasons for continuing to attend the SGA meetings. I was interested in keeping up with the Board of Governors and their efforts to keep tuition low. I'm not attending school right now, but the tuition I'll be paying for the fall will be decided this semester.

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